Thursday 29 March 2018

Why i wanted to write?


Sometimes I just simply sit and wonder why did I study so hard to be a teacher and then all of a sudden just give it up and tried my hand on writing? I tried to search in my soul and found that I had always wanted to be a writer. Teaching was only a profession that I chose. Something that I had to do to find a job (apparently it was necessary)
The real reason why I wanted to be a writer-
1.       In the movies and books writers are always so cool. They can express so easily the turmoil in their heart or the love they felt. Eloquence and sophistication is what made me feel that I wanted to be writer like those in the movies
2.       Eternal romantic
I guess I have always been a born romantic... too emotional and in love with music so I think I had to write, some sort of art had been building inside me (I quill too). My fingers itched for many years to hold a pen and write on the paper, though typing on the system feels great too. When my mind works faster than I can type. I love that awesome feeling
3.       Gave me a chance to be whatever and whom so ever I want
Who is to say I am a married person with 2 kids, no one will ask me if I can cook good food? No one will see if I look good or not! I can write and express myself and that is what matters to me. I can escape in to a world that I created where I can fantasize and just be true to myself... a free bird of some sorts. I can dance and I can sing and I can play a guitar and beat the dreams... I just need a blank page and fill it with my words…
4.       Most importantly I can actually write and express myself.
I am not a very vocal person and mostly I am misunderstood. So when I write I can express the way I feel. Sometimes even words fail me too. But this is the medium I can safely express myself.

Friday 16 March 2018

what is love


What is love?
What is that love that is fulfilled? Someday I wish to experience that love where I know that this it! I don’t need any more, I won’t find anyone.
That love that reaches its culmination! Sex and marriage is not the culmination of that kind of love. It is just a pit stop. That feeling where u feels butterflies in your tummy and that deep dull ache in your heart is just the beginning of that love. You want to be so close that the very air you breathe is each other’s breath. That love where nothing can come in between. That kind of closeness where your heart beats for you but works for the other one. The love that requires no name.
I want to feel that love again and with no one else but with the same person. The same person whom I can’t imagine my life without. He is my best friend, he knows what I am thinking and every day I want to feel as close to him as can be.
My interpretation of that love can be wrong. But I have experienced another side of this love
The one that consumed me! The one I could not breathe, where I ached for his voice, where my desperation overtook my reason and my will power had no control on me. When I had tears in my eyes and I cld not see beyond and past that. I have never felt that way where I had to lose that love and never could meet him or even think of him.
My heart can’t take it anymore and it has gotten weak. Coz I fall in love so easily but I love truly, madly and deeply!