Love, A weighty Issue!

We all are aware of laws of attraction. Different people get attracted to different aspect of the personlity. But most of us still consider looks and weight to be the most impartant thing that attracts us in a person. How fair is it?

Ramblings to be continued....

Making an effort

We all have been struggling!
Some of us struggle more than the other and yet we all put on a brave face and try to live with it.I wonder though that showing you are vulnerable, a sign of weakness or just a sign of your capability to accept yourself and let the other person accept you too?

Do I need to make an effort to accept me first and bring in the changes that i deem fit for myself or give in to the norms of the society and maybe kill my inner self in the process. Making an effort is an ambiguous statement and definitely need more clarity. Nevertheless, in order to move a bit further in my personal growth, yes I need to make an effort.
An effort to do more of what I want and more of what is absolutely right for me!
Write more, Do more of what I love
Quill more, It satisfies my creative side.
Be more, Present in the life of ones I love and all those who actually matter.

My musings continue....

Why i wanted to write?

Sometimes I just simply sit and wonder why did I study so hard to be a teacher and then all of a sudden just give it up and tried my hand on writing? I tried to search in my soul and found that I had always wanted to be a writer. Teaching was only a profession that I chose. Something that I had to do to find a job (apparently it was necessary)

The real reason why I wanted to be a writer-

1.       In the movies and books writers are always so cool. They can express so easily the turmoil in their heart or the love they felt. Eloquence and sophistication is what made me feel that I wanted to be writer like those in the movies

2.       Eternal romantic

I guess I have always been a born romantic... too emotional and in love with music so I think I had to write, some sort of art had been building inside me (I quill too). My fingers itched for many years to hold a pen and write on the paper, though typing on the system feels great too. When my mind works faster than I can type. I love that awesome feeling

3.       Gave me a chance to be whatever and whom so ever I want

Who is to say I am a married person with 2 kids, no one will ask me if I can cook good food? No one will see if I look good or not! I can write and express myself and that is what matters to me. I can escape in to a world that I created where I can fantasize and just be true to myself... a free bird of some sorts. I can dance and I can sing and I can play a guitar and beat the dreams... I just need a blank page and fill it with my words…

4.       Most importantly I can actually write and express myself.

I am not a very vocal person and mostly I am misunderstood. So when I write I can express the way I feel. Sometimes even words fail me too. But this is the medium I can safely express myself.

what is love

What is love?

What is that love that is fulfilled? Someday I wish to experience that love where I know that this it! I don’t need any more, I won’t find anyone.

That love that reaches its culmination! Sex and marriage is not the culmination of that kind of love. It is just a pit stop. That feeling where u feels butterflies in your tummy and that deep dull ache in your heart is just the beginning of that love. You want to be so close that the very air you breathe is each other’s breath. That love where nothing can come in between. That kind of closeness where your heart beats for you but works for the other one. The love that requires no name.

I want to feel that love again and with no one else but with the same person. The same person whom I can’t imagine my life without. He is my best friend, he knows what I am thinking and every day I want to feel as close to him as can be.

My interpretation of that love can be wrong. But I have experienced another side of this love

The one that consumed me! The one I could not breathe, where I ached for his voice, where my desperation overtook my reason and my will power had no control on me. When I had tears in my eyes and I cld not see beyond and past that. I have never felt that way where I had to lose that love and never could meet him or even think of him.

My heart can’t take it anymore and it has gotten weak. Coz I fall in love so easily but I love truly, madly and deeply!

That Moment

When I don’t keep my mind in check it wonders to that moment… that moment when I would meet you after so many years. That moment when I would lay my eyes on you and all those memories will rush back and I would once again be captivated by you.

That moment when not expecting to see you across the room; our eyes meet and in that spark the entire room seems to stand still.  I rush towards you and embrace you, like I have never hugged any one before. In that embrace a thousand words are spoken.

A tear rolls down my eye that says I missed you. I wish we never parted. A smile that says I know you are happy yet we would have been happier together and not apart.

Shall I kiss you like I use to before, and you take me in your arms like there is no tomorrow and forget about everything else.

I imagine all this when I let my mind wonder unchecked. I imagine it when I see someone that reminds me of you. Your crooked nose and your evil smile. You held my heart when you spoke to me and flashed your teeth.

I wonder would I be able to do this all if we ever meet. I am shy and you know it and yet I can imagine all this and I am sure would never be able to say it or even do any of it. the moment will pass, I am sure when no one is watching I am sure I can close my eyes and let my mind wonder of into that special place where you and I can b together with no one to check and no one to notice that you and I belong to each other no matter what the time or the era and even the situation is.

Unabashed and imaginatively yours….

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Its 2^nd of January and to be frank, this year has been a bit different. I wasn’t excited about the New Year as I usually am. I did not make any resolutions either. Why???

Well for starters this whole hoopla about the New Year is for those who need another reason to drink and party and # their outings on social networking sites. Who cares which club you went and what glass of wine you are holding. After a while all things do become old and the excitement of the New Year dies down.

Your New Year resolutions are not kept beyond the first week of January. Why not take hold of the resolutions kept at the end of the year when we are bidding adieu to the year gone. All the mistakes that have been committed, all the promises that were broken to oneself- all of them should be taken into account.

What is New Year? Another year gone by… why can’t we see what we have accomplished and set our eyes on something more we can achieve.  Let your planning be for everyday and make room for error in judgment and other things that are not in your hands.

Make room for not the images on Facebook or Instagram but for what you will carry in your heart. All the time spent with your loved ones. All the new things that you have learnt, all the books you read and all the dreams you fulfilled... Celebrate that and plan for more such achievements and celebrations….

The lull after the big festivities

There seem to be a kind of lull, kind of gloom fallen after all the preparations and decorations that take place after a big festival. The aftermath can certainly be seen with the bloated tummy and an empty look. The highly activity filled days are no more so active and yet I have not caught up on my sleep.

Well that is not the only thing that is impacting my mental peace. I am a creative person and I like to constantly create something, be it a well written article or some Quilled piece.

Lately my mind keeps on wandering into a strange plane. Where I have these flashbacks and the images of things that I have not yet lived. Into this unknown territory I keep on wondering if I will ever come out of this.  Go to the place that I want to reach.

I wish to do so much and saying that I can’t find time to follow my passion is not just an understatement but also a sorry excuse for being too lazy. I have so much of passion and yet I do nothing for it.

I, like many others compare my passion with the kind of income I would get from it all. Proving that I think low of my own capabilities.

This has nothing to do with the lack of passion to follow my passion and make something of it but the dull lull that follows great and big festivals. I am sure I would get out of this soon and with a bang.

This surely is my mind rambling, making no sense whatsoever