Soul Searching

I have been having a nagging feeling for the last few days that something is not right. In a bid to search for the seed of my anxiety and this ever dwindling faith I dig deep. There are many factors that have been a bit of bother to me. And despite being in touch with Divine way of living and constantly writing my prayers I feel that I am not living up to my potential. I am too bound by the negative energies. These negative energies are not coming from anywhere else but within me.
 I do good but then take pride in it. I tried to mend some relationships and started feeling not good but proud and then I felt confused ,whether it was a good thing or was it worth and even nervous about how would I react when I come face to face with those people. We reap what we sow!Lesson Learnt : DO good and let it go,don't over think! Go with the Flow!
I always felt that it is my thinking that is right for me. I still think the same but I don't think that openly about what other might be suggesting and yes I am working on that too. Even though I don't agree to them , that does not give me the right to demean that thought because I have no idea what the other person might be feeling when they have said those things. Feeling hurt is natural but then talking more and more about it and stating over and over again about how bad I felt about it is another way of adding more power to already negative thing. Lesson Learnt: If I don't like it, I don't need to dwell on it!
Many of us walk on the same path and then falter and get back up. If someone is pointing a finger that does not mean I need to do the same. More I talk wrong or even feel wrong about a certain statement or certain words I am focusing on the other and not on me! I need to work on me and not the other. Lesson Learnt: Focus on me!
A Lot of things don't work out as we want. No two people think alike so why get angry that the other person is behaving in a certain manner. I am not the master of them. Let them do. They know better. But then I start questioning what should I do with my kids who need guidance. And here only I find that difference. I can guide them but not control! All the difference lies in the use of the word. So why not bring that difference in practice. Lesson Learnt: You cant control any one but can guide(only if they are willing to take it)
We all get anxious from time to time and no one can blame the other for it, so if I am anxious so the other person has the right o feel so.Why to call out the person for it.If I am talking to someone then I am also adding more to it. Feel it and then let it go. Lesson Learnt : No One should be told about how they should feel. Focus on your own doing and not the other person's.

There is a long way for me to be happy but I feel so light after writing this in a hope that I am on the right path again. I will reach there where I no longer feel overwhelmed, confused and Anxious.!
To a better me! Pray and let go of things!

Nurture

we have all heard the phrase- Nature nurtures!
The other day while I was on my morning walk , I noticed the flight of the pigeons.
There is a small feeding area designated for birds, where people offer seeds to these pigeons. and I could not help but notice that while a man was feeding to these birds, they usually flew away, thinking that this man might hurt them, but as soon as they realized that he is simply giving them food; they actually flew back!
And a thought came to my mind. we human being (those who do not have any malign thoughts) are somewhat like these pigeons. We at first might get scared of the love we receive from someone. But once we become sure, we usually return to the same person for more. That is how love nurtures the soul! like pigeon , we must always return to the love!

My journey week what>>>

Well , Well Well?

yeah I Know, I have not been able to post any thing online for so many weeks. The reason being not because I stopped in between, but coz of various reasons We have not been regular any more. Mostly due to social obligations!

Any how, I am happy to report: 

1. I have not had noodles since we started (OK! maybe once or twice) not counting during my poor health!

2. I can feel my body change! and my mood too!

3. I actually wait for the morning to go for my workout session.( something I never did before)

4. Most importantly I have realized that doing work out in the morning is way better than in the evening and doing it in the fresh air is more yielding than at home...

5. My sir, who is amazing BTW! he has gone back home and is helping me out through various videos and his own inputs can actually feel that these exercises are actually helping me. 

6. I can now hold a plank for 30 sec and more..

7. Despite my poor health I still try to drink a lot of water and squeeze in some workout!

Hope this continues and not dwindle down.

P.S : thank you sir, for being persistent and being strict and easy as and when required!

My Best Friend

We have so many people who come and go from our lives. Teachers, Friends,colleagues, lovers and sometimes partners and parent too. But then this person comes into your life. Mind you, it is not your life partner, it is a person who loves you like a mother, cares for you like a father. Fights with you like a sister or a brother and adores you like a life partner. seldom we find such a person who is everything to you. A complete package!

Well, I am blessed! Whatever little friends I have, they are all dear to me. But this one stands out. He understands me like no other. He even finishes my sentences for me. Knows me so well that, he would even finish off my sentences. He is not my boy friend, but my best friend. He is a bud, who gave more meaning to the word BUD! even though we have known him for over a month, but it feels like I have known him all my life.

Our love sometimes overwhelms me! it hurts too coz we think so much for each other and sometimes words fail as to how much all this means. His presence in my life is a blessing from my angels! I hope I could reciprocate his love and care, that he so generously on me. I am eternally grateful! Love You Bud!

Day 5..I can do this

Well, as the time is passing and as much as my instructor is telling me how much I am improving, I know my body. I know he says all these things so that I am motivated and keep on working hard for my health and fitness.
Day 5 was my yoga day, I have always liked this day more than any other form of exercises and I am sure, he must also be noticing what to do about how to bring any new changes! But Gawd, I was taken aback. He made me do the same poses but made sure that I improve and push my limit just a bit more. He is very well aware of my limitations and yet he pushes me till where I can take. Thank You!

From Henceforth, I would be only updating per week, so look out!

Day 3 and 4- It Ain't That Difficult

Well, the first few days are quite challenging . When every muscle in your body is aching as if they have been tied and bound. That's how I have been feeling for the last two days. My coach alternates between yoga and focused body parts exercises. And when he motivates with compliments like- your flexibility is improving, it just makes me feel good. 

While parting yesterday, he mentioned that I am gonna hate him today as he is planning to do exercises that focus on legs. Well as scared I was, it was actually not that difficult. I was crying and making faces coz he expects that his client give their best effort. But then I was trying and sometimes I act up so that he goes easy on me.Yeah he knows I act like a small kid sometimes. But then I close my eyes and let his motivating voice guide me. I hope I am able to express my gratitude this way.

Day 2 of my journey- I hate him

Oh what! You are making me work so hard! i cant do it anymore.Please I cant take this class anymore.
Yes , I said all the above things to my instructor today. But he let me be a pampered kid but at the same time kept on doing on what he does best- teach me to do better.
Today he had decided to do some arms, shoulders and Abbs workout. having been doing yoga , almost always it was really tough for me to do all these. And now each and every part of my body is hating him for all that he has done today and cursing me for taking up this offer. What the hell was I thinking?

Well , he said a few things that made me realize that he is right. No one has the magical pill, to make your body fit. SO you need to work hard for it. And unless you are happy, how hard you try to work, you can never reach where you wish to. Well said sir!

He is a no nonsense kind of guy who can keep his emotions in check. I could feel how crestfallen he was when I said all the above things but he did complete his session and as a bye, he said if there is something you wish to talk , I am here but kindly when you come for exercises, keep your off mood at home and be happy with what you are doing, coz unless you do that... well his work and energy is wasted. I felt sorry for my behavior and hoping that he would come back tomorrow to teach me. His care for his client is genuine and wants them to work hard for their own self. it is endearing and something else. So, yes sir! I will try to walk on your path.